Do You Matter?

Several weeks ago I had a conversation with a good friend who had recently started a new relationship with God.  He grew up with some sporadic attendance in church, but had never embraced the idea that God was that important to his life.  I think that many people share that perspective.  God can be real and yet not that tied into what my life is about.  At least that's what many people think.  

Some rotten family events had happened for my friend - the kind that tempt you to lose faith in people, yourself, and God.   But instead, he started going to a long-forgotten church from his childhood.  I asked him, "Why did you start going to church?"  He told me, "I needed more texture in my life" and by that he meant that he sensed his life was not full of much meaning, only a matter of daily duties and less than worthwhile responsibilities.  And he had found new texture as he connected with God for the first time in his life.  He became connected to something larger than himself.

So I started talking about the "story" God is inviting us to be a part of.  "What does that mean?" he inquired.  He'd never considered the idea before.  I explained that in the bible, people are given the opportunity to join into the unfolding story of God in history - join with him in his plan to restore, recreate, and redeem the world.  We talked about how that's still true today - each person has a role to play in a much larger tale, even if it's a small part or one we don't understand at all in our lifetimes.
He thought about that concept for awhile, and then he said something that surprised me.

"That idea makes me feel insignificant." 


"Really?  Insignificant?  What do you mean?" I asked.

"Well, the idea that we're just here to play some minuscule  little part in God's huge plan just seems ... small to me."

I have to confess that that very same idea is part of what's so compelling about following Christ for me.  I already feel small.  It comes naturally to me.  I don't need God for that.  In fact, the more I work and push and struggle to "make a difference," the more I feel like I'm not making much of a difference at all.  As I push past 50, I wonder if I'll ever achieve something that's really special. Or, even more, if I'll ever be a decent person deep, deep inside.

At just that point, though, there's a whisper from God who says, "Shhh.  Be still, foolish man.  Remember, you're not writing the Story.  I am.  Stick with it. Persevere. Trust.  Listen to my voice and you'll fit in the story.  You do matter, though you may not see how just now."

My sense of insignificance isn't a problem to God.  If there is a larger (redemption) story to tell, it isn't my job to become significant.  That's God's concern.  In fact, it's his promise: Though my part may be minuscule and apparently irrelevant, there is a hidden meaning to my life - and yours.

So perhaps my friend is right.  Finding our place in God's story might just make us feel less important. Maybe that's where God is at last able to plug us into something good.

Jeremiah, who we'll learn about in this week's message, doesn't deal directly with these issues.  But I have a feeling that he wondered if all his suffering and efforts amounted to anything.  We'll learn about his struggles with God this Sunday.
Check out the song by Andrew Peterson - Fool With A Fancy Guitar.

- Curtis

It's Not About You

2 Corinthians 2:1-10

Just a brief paragraph about this week's passage. Anyone who has had any kind of chronic pain – either physical, psychological or spiritual (etc) – has found solace or frustration in this passage where Paul talks about his thorn in the flesh. There are lots of theories as to what that thorn was, but no one really knows.

God's words to Paul were clear though: “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” These are words that not only speak to the way we endure as individuals, but also point to a larger picture of which we are a part. God's power is revealed in our circumstances when, in our weakness, we submit to God's purposes and plans. There's a bigger picture, a larger plan involved - God's Story of redemption for the world. If we don't know that's what the story is about, or that we're part of that story, then we live in a state of constant frustration and confusion - which is the norm for so many people.

- Curtis

For Sunday June 8 - It's a Long Race

Genesis 12:1-9
I think I mis-named the sermon, but it's already printed in the bulletin, so "oh well." It isn't the first time I've thought about what to name the thing and then, later, I think, "What was I thinking? That's not what it's about at all." Anyway...
Fourteen years ago, when Ana was just a couple of months away from releasing Malia from her womb, I thought it would be fun to take a little trip. So we borrowed a friend's mini-van, tossed in almost 4-yr old Amanda, 18 month old Becca, and invited the rest of Ana's family to come along on an adventure. And surprisingly, they signed on. Ana's sister, hubby, and their 2 small children; Ana's brother and his new wife. The Adventure: A driving trip from Fresno California to British Columbia - just over 1000 miles each way with 2 small children, a 7.5 month pregnant wife, and just enough money to stay in every Motel 6 we could find along the way. (They may leave the light on for ya, but they need to wash their sheets better and maybe think about some new mattresses too...) This is the kind of husband and father I was. Along the way, Ana discovered just how car sick a pregnant woman could become in the winding hills of Southern Oregon, how bad sciatica could hurt, and, I suspect at that moment, how much she wished she had married a rich man who could fly her to the French Riviera. It was a good time.
I relate this story because it reminds me of Abram (later he was Abraham) and the push God gave him in this week's passage out of his homeland and into - the unknown future. For my family, it was on that 2000 mile driving trip that we truly felt God telling us it was time to pack up, leave Fresno, and to come to Oregon. You see, on that very trip we stopped off and met the good folks of Cedar Hills Baptist Church for the first time. Just a few days before leaving on our trip, we got a call from the "search committee" from CHBC. I did a phone interview and told them we were heading out on this trek North. They said, "come on by when you're here" and so we did. It was, oddly enough, a bit cool and rainy and we fell in love with the people and the place. A few weeks later we were back for a weekend, and the rest, as they say, is history. Fourteen years of melding our lives with people here; of kids growing up and heading off to college soon; of mission trips and prisons, VBS's and weddings, funerals and baptisms. Life together. Who would have known? It was very hard to leave who and what we knew. Family, friends, that life. The only thing that mad it easier was sensing clearly that God was directing us.

Surely Abraham didn't know the big story, even though God told him more than he tells most of us. It really isn't a race at all, as my mislabeled title implies. It's about God's Story working it's way out in lives as he melds those lives together into his Big Story. And every good and lousy thing that happens in our little stories fits somehow into a wonderful, Grand Tale told by the Author.
Thoughts? - Curtis

For Sunday October 21 - Once Upon a Time

This week the oldest of my mom's 6 sisters died of a massive heart attack. The picture here is an old one of my mom's family - her mom in the middle at her 70th b-day in 1965, and all 7 of the girls gathered round. Aunt Mary is the farthest to the left.
Aunt Mary lived 86 years on this planet. There were great people of the Bible like Abraham and Noah who, the bible says, lived over 900 years. Some Hebrew scholars point out that the Hebrew language isn't concerned with time in exactly the way we are. To say in Hebrew that someone "lived 300 years" might mean that they packed the quality of 300 years into their life. Hebrew is more concerned with substance than with pure numbers and scientific data.
I believe that if we spoke of my aunt Mary's life in Hebrew terms, we might say that she lived 1000 years, because her life was so full and meaningful. Not "exciting" or "wild" but deep and solid and real. She was married to the same man, my uncle Fred, for 62 years. They had an amazing love; the stuff of stories. She raised a son and daughter to be good, productive people. She was a High School teacher for 37 years and was voted to the Kansas Teachers Hall of Fame in the late 1980's (an honor given to only one teacher each year). Mary was a devout follower of Jesus Christ who never wavered in her faith or her prayers. Though life brought her times of deep sadness, she was faithful and true. She lived in a little town called Baldwin Kansas for her entire adult life. In that little town, there was a Maple Leaf Festival each year. Aunt Mary would bake dozens (according to my mom) of pies each year for the festival to raise money for various charities. This year, in October, she was scheduled to ride in the lead "float" as one of the Queens of the festival - their way of honoring her for decades of faithful service. Instead, she will be buried that day. In her wake, many waves and ripples of faith, learning, strength and love will continue to move outward.
I ramble on about my Aunt because this week's passage is all about God revealing to David that he was a part of a much bigger story than he ever realized. David is humbled and shocked that he would be a part of a plan so glorious and big. He says, "Is this how you normally deal with man?" Wow.

God's revelation to him comes after he has just felt overwhelmed about living in a big palace and not doing anything for God. Maslow would have said that David has reached the top of the hierarchy of needs and that he then looks beyond himself for meaning. Whatever the reason, he looks to God and discovers something huge. Something great. I don't know that we all get such a glimpse of how we fit into God's story. But the Story is real. Our part is important, God says. Yes, he could use others if we opt out, but if we say, "count me in" he will in ways more amazing than we might be able to understand in this life.
My Aunt Mary lived her last few years under the shadow of increasing dementia. It was a sad part of her story, but one in which family saw Uncle Fred love and care for her with such tenderness that there was meaning even in that last chapter of her life. This week as I attend her funeral and talk with family I haven't seen in years, I'm looking forward to hearing about ways she fulfilled her role in God's story -ways I've never heard about. Maybe next week I'll report some of those to you. In the meantime, remember you're a part of a much bigger story. - Curtis